Boost Your Confidence at Work
Confidence can be such a difficult thing to build and having it doesn’t come easy for a lot of women. We’re taught to play down our best qualities in the name of “humility,” to shrug off compliments and never get too comfortable with our position lest we be perceived as arrogant. Expressing your ideas and disagreeing can lead to you being labeled as “difficult’ or “a lot.” None of these factors make it easy to maintain a high level of confidence, in fact it has the opposite effect. Building and maintaining confidence is an exercise that you need to be working on all the time because external factors and self-doubt are always waiting to derail you. Meditate, surround yourself with people that lift you up, do what you need to do to boost your confidence on your own time. Her are my 8 tips to boost it at work.
Always be looking.
This is not to imply that you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel settled in, relaxed and happy in any job. Sure you can, but you should always be aware of what’s happening in your industry, among your peers, at other companies and at the levels above you (you want to grow into those levels don’t you?). If you’ve got your finger on the pulse, you’re in touch with your network, recruiters, industry magazines and forums, you’ll be aware that opportunity is out there and you won’t feel trapped or dangerously dependent on your current situation. Go ahead and hear out that recruiter that keeps reaching out to you, have coffee with former bosses and people in your network even if you are happy where you are. Keep your eyes, ears and heart open. Remember that you are a prize, and many companies would be happy to have you.
Write down your accomplishments
You do a lot and you do it so automatically that you don’t realize how much you do and how many people your work touches. Keep a running file of projects you’ve completed, add quantified achievements and results while the information is still fresh. For example, how many cross-functional teams do you consistently partner with or how many interns and trainees have you trained and mentored? Did you bring in new business, hit targets, revamp a process? You get the drift. This should help keep you impressed with yourself (you should be proud of what you’re doing!) and provide a little boost when you’re feeling down. Conversely, it could show you how little you’re learning or progressing and provide the nudge you need to get you to move on. Also important: it will keep you armed and ready for salary negotiations and interviews when the time comes and you need to sell yourself. Don’t worry, no one will see this file, it’s just for you. And don’t feel silly, trust me, everyone has their own secret ways of coping.
Always keep your resume updated
If someone tells you about an opportunity at a dinner or you come across an interesting posting, you may feel discouraged from going for it if you know that you have an outdated resume that will take several hours to update. If it’s already ready to go, just missing a few minor adjustments, you’ll be more inclined to take the chance! So every few months, take out your accomplishment list and update your resume. if you’ve been bombarded recently with confidence killers, perhaps in the form of a colleague, boss or difficult client, reminding yourself of your past accomplishments (previous jobs, education, awards) also helps you remember who the F you are. You are still that person, you could just be going through a rough moment so don’t forget her.
Accept all the compliments
Don’t allow imposter syndrome to make you dismiss your good reviews. Accept the praise! Remember, you’re not engaging in polite dinner conversations full of meaningless flattery, you’re at work! No one would be saying the kind words if they didn’t mean it. Before you shrug off the next compliment lobbed at you, catch yourself, look them dead in the eye and say “thank you, I appreciate that.” Then go home and believe it. You could even add it to your accomplishments file. Just as a business relies on positive reviews to inspire trust in potential customers, sometimes you may need to read your own positive reviews to inspire confidence in yourself. So when you’re feeling low and that mean, evil voice in the back of your head starts to get really loud, counter it by reading your own positive reviews and reminding yourself of how great you are.
Help someone junior or who is struggling
Absolutely nothing can make you feel better and make you realize how much you know than when you have to teach someone else. Being needed and having someone look up to you and ask you for help is the ultimate confidence boost. Lean in to opportunities to demonstrate expertise and leadership. Show them the sort of patience and kindness that you have always wanted shown to you. It will make you feel better and more importantly, it will help someone else feel better. Added bonus, your peers and leaders will notice.
Affirmations
Read books, listen to Ted Talks, meditate, pray. Do whatever you need to do to train your brain to approach things with more confidence and ease and less anxiety and tension. Remember confidence isn’t static, it comes and goes, it may be in abundance some days and lacking in others. Maintaining it is like maintaining your physical fitness, you need to work at it consistently.
Ask for help
Sitting silently with feelings of inadequacy is dangerous and can lead to a downward spiral. Before things get too bad and all your confidence and self-esteem are completely shot, you should seek some help. It does not make you weak to seek help or guidance. Talk to a peer or someone more senior that you trust. You can even schedule some time with your boss. Be specific about where you need help. Some examples: “I’m not comfortable presenting”, “sometimes I’m not sure when or how much to speak up in meetings,” “it’s taking me longer than I would like to master this system/process.” The truth is if you’re having a hard time, they probably already know you’re struggling and will be happy to see that you’re self-aware and want to work on a plan. Or they’ll have no idea what you’re talking about and tell you you’re too hard on yourself and everything is great. If it’s the latter, remember point 4, accept it as a compliment! It is possible you’re being impatient and judging yourself too harshly (that pesky imposter syndrome again).
Know when to move on
There is of course always the possibility that you are at the wrong company, working with or for the wrong people. Perhaps they are unsupportive, dismissive, demeaning or overbearing. Unfortunately these are things that occur at some work places. If you have tried everything, including clear and direct communication, and things are still bad it is probably time to move on. Don’t wait until what little is left of your confidence is completely gone, GET OUT now.
You’re doing better than you think you are.
-Nony