Ciara Costenoble, The Celebrity Hair Stylist You Need to Know
One of the tenets of Buddhism is that life is suffering. This means we should all expect our fare share of difficulty and complications, some caused by us and some by others. Upon accepting the inescapability of some suffering, the key to a vibrant life lies in how we react to these difficulties. Celebrity hair stylist and hair educator, Ciara Costenoble has been dealt a few bad hands in her short life but has triumphed over them by leaning into her striking vulnerability, inner beauty and profound self-belief that took her years to hone. To know her is to love her. We were introduced by public relations powerhouse, Priya Shukla, and a quick coffee meet-up at chic 13th arrondissement spot, Mauvaises Graines, turned into a 3-hour conversation about love, disappointment, dreams and…self- belief. Ciara is soulful, curious, sensitive, open. A true creative. Despite having worked with almost every important celebrity, entertainer and influencer that comes through Paris, she never name drops. You almost have to pry those glamorous details out of her. The jobs that she talks about with most excitement are not due to being in close proximity to the world’s élite, but being respected by the team that booked her and trusted with full reign to create.
The day we arrived at her apartment to shoot her, I expected to find a home full of hair accessories and evidence of her profession, instead I found house plants and art from her travels. Her home revealed nothing of her work and everything of her joy. “We pick a place to travel to for four weeks every year. In 2017 we went to Madagascar and I got so much great art,” she explained as we photographed a wooden toilet paper dispenser/sculpture. She’s full of surprises and has a never-ending desire to make things, to beautify. “I just started making jewelry,” she exclaims as she shows us gold earrings she made and her kiln. She continues about herself and her husband, “almost everything in the house we did ourselves. We are very much project people. We rebuilt the kitchen, the floors. The brick wall was actually a regular wall covered with velvet carpet which we ripped out.”
Everyone’s dream is to turn their talent or hobby into a profession so that work never actually feels like work, but “doing hair" was actually Ciara’s coping mechanism and way to escape a challenging home environment. It eventually evolved into a gateway to entrepreneurship, independence, access and success.
“I define success as “going after what I want, truly knowing my worth and finally believing that I’m enough and deserve to be loved, lifted and protected.”
Ciara at home in her 13th arrondissement apartment. Image by @Zheinova_
The consummate hostess served us coffee in delicate, antique porcelain. Image by @Zheinova_
One of the works Ciara picked up in Madagascar. Image by @Zheinova_
Ciara was born and raised just outside of Washington DC, in Alexandria, Virginia. As the only daughter of five children, her mother didn’t have the time or the know-how to do her hair, so she spent a lot of time at the salon. At 11, she lost her adoptive father and at 14 became a shampoo girl at a salon in order to help her mother out. Eventually she was doing everyone’s hair. It started to become a more serious pursuit when her school principal noticed her talent and spoke to her about a cosmetology program at a nearby vocational school (talk about female empowerment in action!) “She organized a bus to take me from school to the program and back. I was so lucky.”
Despite graduating with her cosmetology license and a lot of talent, Ciara still felt the familiar pressure to get a college degree and enrolled at Shepherd University in West Virginia where she studied journalism and international business marketing. She describes the experience as a “culture shock,” so hair styling continued to be her escape and side gig. How all this led her to Paris and entrepreneurship is a heart-wrenching tale of deceit, betrayal, hope and again, self-belief. The self proclaimed “avid nap-taker and obsessed plant mom” gets very personal about her journey and her dreams.
Ciara, an earring and fragrance addict, counts Guerlain as one of her favorite brands for scents. Image by @Zheinova_
Take us through your career journey and how you arrived in Paris.
Everyone at the hair salons I worked in always told me that I had talent and encouraged me. In college, I was making good money and building up a client base while doing hair as my side gig at an Aveda salon in Virginia. I eventually became their designated special event hair stylist because no one at the salon could actually style except me, so I stepped up!
My last year of school, I studied abroad here in Paris. While here I met my husband, we fell in love and so I stayed. I immediately went into hair and found myself working for an English-speaking salon but it was a horrible experience. I was belittled and told things like not to have too many black clients as “this is not a black salon.” I eventually left and quit hair all together for about a year.
It was a really rough time for me as I was really beaten down emotionally and mentally at that time and I had very little self-confidence left. I was 22, in a foreign country and trying so hard to push aside so much personal trauma I came with. I took an office job which was another negative experience, but I stayed because I felt like I had no choice but to take whatever anyone slid my way.
How did you go from such a dark place to where you currently are?
I started asking myself what I really wanted to do. I knew I always loved hotels, I liked luxury and was really good at pampering clients for special events back in DC. I just figured, it’s Paris, there must be a lot of events happening and I want to be a part of them. So I made a list of photographers, makeup artists, event planners and hotels who had the type of clients that I wanted to work with. I e-mailed them, met for coffee with the ones that agreed to meet, I worked for free, and networked. I set up a website and Instagram and little by little I started getting booked. I was quite surprised that it worked out. I knew what I was doing when it came to hair, but I had no idea what I was doing for everything else. I was just faking it until I made it.
“I still often feel disappointed by the lackluster people getting job opportunities just because they know someone instead of through talent. “
Once I started getting celebrity clients and regularly working fashion week I felt proud and validated and it went on from there.
What was it like to navigate such an exclusive, touchy world in a foreign country and culture?
I taught myself french! I’m the type of person where when I am interested in something, I get so focused on it until I master it. I bought text books and taught myself the language, I would get audio tapes from the library and make strangers talk to me at the grocery store. Eventually I became fluent.
I still often feel disappointed by the lackluster people getting job opportunities just because they know someone instead of through talent. When it comes to working in fashion, high-end clientele and venues here, I’m pretty much always the only black woman. But I know what I bring to any situation and I stand proud in that. However, I often feel sad that there are not more of us in those rooms or who feel comfortable in these situations.
It doesn’t seem common for hairstylists to work across different hair textures. Hair styling seems pretty segregated. How did you get so talented in both?
It isn’t common and it’s why I’m unique. I grew up in black salons and honed my skills there. I learned how to work on other hair textures in cosmetology school where there is no focus or education done around black hair. So I got good at both types of hair. I’m unique in Paris because I’m bilingual and work on all textures which is incredibly hard to find anywhere in the world, but especially in Paris.
What was your first big break?
My big break was also my most memorable experience. I was like 2 years into my business, I didn’t have a big Instagram following and a lot of the work I had done, I wasn’t able to showcase on social media because they were for high-end weddings where the clients wanted privacy. So my instagram, which is how I’m usually found, wasn’t popping. But I got an instagram DM from someone on Taraji P. Henson’s team. She was coming here to promote Empire and needed someone to do her hair during her stay. I knew I had the talent but doubted I would get it because they hadn’t really seen what I was capable of, but when we connected I sold myself! When I’m on a call or face to face, I feel very confident. I told them my story and my hopes and dreams and they were like ‘you are the one.’ When Taraji came, we instantly connected. It was like meeting a sister, we instantly bonded. Working with her and her team, it was like being with family. We went vintage shopping, I took her around Paris, she met my husband! It was just a fabulous, wonderful, moment. It was a testament to the fact that if you don’t have every single thing lined up perfectly, personality and knowing how to sell yourself can really work in your favor. But when it came to showing up for the work, I showed ALL the way up though. In fact when she came back to Europe to go to Monaco, she booked me again. That was the moment when I was like, “I can do this. I can make this a business.”
Ciara at one of her favorite spots, Mauvaises Graines in the 13th arrondissement of Paris.
The most glamorous “or wow” moment you have worked?
A couture shoot for some Lebanese brands at one of the most exquisite chateaux in France. There were gowns from Ines di Santo, Zuhair Murad and so much more. All the talent was top notch and they completely trusted me to do whatever I wanted in terms of hair. Another thing I’m super excited about is I just did the hair for the cover of L’Officiel magazine’s September issue. Again, they reached out to me and were super complimentary and gave me full reign. I felt so respected and validated. It was a wonderful experience.
A negative experience and how it shaped or impacted you?
I’m going to tell you a story I’ve never told a lot of people and very few know. In my last year of college while I was finalizing my study abroad plans, my biological father begged and pleaded to make things right after not being in my life. I honestly didn’t believe a thing since he had previously had drug and mental health problems that he refused to get help with. His mother, and brother, convinced me to believe him and said they trusted him. So I gave in. I arrived in Paris January 15th, 2011 with stars in my eyes and was in the midst of living my dream when two weeks into classes, I received a call from the school inquiring about payment. They had not received any money! My biological father had gotten into contact with the financial aid office and changed all the paperwork behind my back and had the loan put in his name saying he would pay the school directly, instead he took the money and disappeared! I broke down. He had only come back into my life to scam me. There I was with a year long visa, kicked out of school and student housing apartment in a foreign country, where I did not know a soul nor the language! Needless to say the experience stayed with me for a very long time and sadly the trauma from the situation really made me question my entire existence. I still feel like with people, I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop and I often feel like I have to protect myself. Never feeling like I’m “enough” is something I fight everyday.
Some of Ciara’s work
How did you come back from that?
I jumped from motel to motel trying to figure out what to do. I lived in some very shady spots. I was too embarrassed to go back home and was fearful of my state of mind. I bought a ticket back home and then canceled it last minute and decided to stay and see if I could make it. I got 3 different jobs, teaching English to French kids, baby sitting (which also allowed me to have a room), editing college kids papers and eventually a job in a hair salon. I just switched into survival mode. Honestly when I think about that time I feel so emotional. I remember the fear and hurt but I also remember saying, “this will make me or break me.” I was so disappointed in myself for allowing myself to be fooled that I did not tell anyone here what happened, not even my boyfriend (now husband) who I finally told after we were engaged. I never heard back from my biological father until 2015 when my grandmother passed away. Needless to say he has not changed or ever tried to make up for the pain he put me through. After I got married and settled into married life, I finally released myself from survival mode and decided I wanted to work for myself and build my free-lance business. I figured if I could get through my rough introduction to this country, I could definitely start a business centered on what I loved most.
Ciara at home on her terrace. Image by @zheinova_
Ciara is a big believer in keeping a journal which she writes in frequently. Image by @zheinova_
What character traits have contributed to your success?
Whew…. kindness, strength, trust and faith in God, and being a hustler!
How did you meet your partner?
We met at church here in Paris. He was the best friend of a friend and one of the few people that spoke English and we started out as friends. We talked a lot and he took me everywhere. We talked and Skyped so much that I couldn’t imagine a day without him. It took a while to go from friendship to a relationship but once we did, it progressed pretty quickly. I arrived in January of 2011, we started dating in July, we got engaged in November and we got married the following May.
How do you balance career and marriage?
Remembering that I love being married and being a wife so I need to always show that and not just say it.
Also regular trips so as to not get stuck in too much of a routine and continually learn new stuff about each other.
What relationship advice would you give your younger self?
Talk deeply about in-laws right away.
Make sure the person is emotionally intelligent.
Choose someone who will always protect you first.
A quote that exemplifies your outlook on life?
“Just ask. The worst they can say is ‘no’.”
Advice to your younger self:
Do NOT shrink behind your difficult past. Go after all your biggest dreams and trust your gut in ALL situations.