10 Things to Stop Doing
VIBRANT
adjective
full of energy and enthusiasm.
Let me ask you something. Are you living the life that you want to be living? If your answer is no, why not? Besides the immediate answers that may come to mind -I would like to have more money, look better, get married, be thinner. I venture to guess that if you sat with yourself quietly and really analyzed why you’re not maximizing your life and living according to your innermost desires, you would discover that things are a bit more in your control than you realize. In fact those big picture goals are attainable if you could clear your mind and the air of a few things that are standing in your way.
Here are the top 10 things that I find myself consistently working to avoid in order to unlock vibrancy in my life.
1.
Toxic People
Put a sizable distance between yourself and unsupportive and disparaging friends, partners and I hate to say it, but family members. How can you ever be your best you self if you constantly have someone in your ear, doubting your every move, discouraging your ideas and dimming your light? I’m not advocating to completely cut everyone off, though some people may deserve that, but maybe take their calls less frequently and be more selective about what you share with who.
2.
Imposter Syndrome, Self Doubt & Feelings of Inadequacy
I don’t expect you to wake up having rid yourself of all your doubts and insecurities. But I do expect you to commit to working on reducing the negative voice in your head that makes you feel that you’re not enough. It probably won’t ever completely go away and, in fact, could drive you to be better, but you should take comfort in the fact that everyone is battling some form of self-doubt. Recognize the mean little voice in the back of your mind, confront it and don’t believe all the things it tells you. Read this and this when you need a boost.
3.
Bad Strategies
Your goal has been eluding you. I could just drop a cliché like “don’t give up!” but that would be cheap and too easy. Commit to reassessing your goals and asking yourself the hard questions: Why haven’t you reached them and why aren’t you getting any closer to reaching them? Are they unrealistic? Does your strategy need a tweak? Are you dismissing results and feedback? Have you ignored something else that is working that you should pivot to instead? Promise to take a serious look at your personal goals and update your plans. Maybe toss the whole thing out and make a new goal based on where you are today after all, it’s possible you made those goals when you were a different person.. (Pssst…its OK to change your mind.)
4.
The Expectations of Others
The above quote is harsh but true. It’s not about blame, but empowering you to see that your future is in your hands. Your life is yours and it’s the only one you’ve got and if you’re lucky, it will be long. Do you really plan to live all those years doing what you’ve been told, or manifesting someone else’s dreams and expectations of you? In Vibrant Company is full of stories of women like her, her and her who have all overcome great cultural and familial pressure to become the vibrant women they are today. Don’t wait for permission to do WHAT YOU WANT. If you needed a sign, consider this it.
5.
Lying to yourself
You’re lonely but you’re afraid to admit it because you don’t want to seem desperate and you definitely don’t want pity. Or is it that you’ve climbed up the career ladder and secretly don’t want to go any higher (who needs the stress?). Perhaps you don’t want a family at all and are tired of pretending that you do? Maybe you’re not even sure what it is, but you feel uneasy with your life. Sit quietly with yourself and think really hard about what YOU want. What sparks joy? What do your fantasies consist of? Write it down. Marinate on it. Create a vision board (on your phone, Pinterest, or a literal physical one). Map out a plan. Manifest a dream, like she did. And from then on every single decision you make should be moving you in the direction of this deep desire.
6.
Lack of Discipline
I am guilty of this one too. I keep waiting for a burst of inspiration to start eating healthier, to go work out or to dedicate the time needed to this website. But to quote the fabulous Mel Robbins, “you’re never going to feel like it.” It takes discipline to attain success, not comfort or the right mood.
7.
Diminishing yourself
Perhaps it’s not self doubt you struggle with and instead its playing down your own gifts. Yes indeed, you dim your own light and self deprecate to make other people feel more comfortable. Look, humility is admirable and no one likes a braggart but you never know who is listening and what opportunities and chances you may be leaving behind by constantly talking down your gifts and blessings. Tell people what you do proudly, resist the urge to follow up praise with self abasement etc. Notice if you find yourself unable to share personal successes or moments of joy with the people in your close circle and if you do, refer back to point number 1.
8.
Confusing Insecurities with Intuition
It can be difficult at times to distinguish between insecurities and your gut instincts. Your insecurities feel unsettling and are centered in doubt and fear -doubt in your abilities and fear of failure or what others think. Your intuition is more quiet. It is a feeling or voice calmly but consistently telling you something. You should feel good after choosing the option that your gut was pushing you toward. Sit quietly with yourself and feel what is driving your thoughts before taking action.
9.
Avoiding Necessary Conflict
Without a doubt, conflict and confrontation are unpleasant but always trying to keep the peace often leads to a resentment build up. You’re also teaching people how to treat you by what you consistently accept.
10.
Waiting to Start Living
A lot of us are guilty of this. I’ll be happy when I lose weight, when I earn more money, when I move, when I get married and so on. You’re curious about things but are waiting for someone to show them to you, or go with you, whether it be skiing, opera, art, language, travel you name it. Stop waiting and go do it. Discovering new things adds a beautiful and exciting boost to your life. Don’t just live, girl, thrive!